A Wife for the Baby Doctor

Josh bent over the frail little figure in the isolette and had to work hard not to let his thoughts show on his face.

He couldn’t think of anything more that any of them could have done to help this precious little boy in his fight for survival, but with every passing minute it was becoming increasingly obvious that their efforts had been in vain.

Unlike the progress James Prentiss was making, at twenty-three weeks gestation, it had already been unlikely that Max would escape unscathed if he did win the battle. A series of bleeds deep inside his brain had almost guaranteed that he would be severely disabled, but his parents had been so desperate that their last hope of a family should have a chance that he hadn’t been able to shut their hollow-eyed expressions out of his mind long enough to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. He hadn’t even been able to force himself to go home last night and now had the stiff neck that often came as the result of dozing off in a chair.

As if standing beside him and watching as Max fought for every breath would make any difference, he berated himself silently, especially with that deadly infection rampaging through his lungs unchecked by everything they’d thrown at it.

‘Max is going to get better, isn’t he?’ Letty Montgomery pleaded, but it was painfully obvious how hard she was having to work to try to sound optimistic.

‘Is your husband here, Letty?’ he asked, sidestepping her question with one of his own. ‘He usually comes here on his way to work, doesn’t he?’

‘He should be here any minute,’ she confirmed shakily, suddenly looking every one of her thirty-nine years as she collapsed onto the nearby chair as if her legs wouldn’t hold her any more.

Josh knew that, in spite of her hopeful question, he almost didn’t need to spell out the bad news. The look of misery in her eyes was mute evidence that she knew what he wanted to talk about, and that it wasn’t good.

‘When he arrives, would you get Dr Dixon to give me a buzz? I just need to chase up some of Max’s lab results.’ And take a couple of minutes to work out exactly how he was going to break the bad news.

The fact that he worked in an area of medicine where his patients often existed right on the very knife edge of survival meant that a higher proportion of them weren’t going to survive. As a depressing consequence of that, he had to go through this conversation far more often than most, but it didn’t matter how many times he’d had to do it, it never seemed to get any easier. In fact, he’d found out early on in his training that somehow it was always worse when it was a child involved rather than someone who had lived a long and fruitful life.

‘Mr Weatherby, I think Dani went up to the lab to chase up the results,’ Letty volunteered tentatively. ‘She took more tests when she came in this morning.’

‘Good,’ Josh said with a reassuring smile even as he wondered just what time Dani had arrived that morning.

Had she even gone home last night? he pondered when he saw the dark circles under her eyes a few minutes later when she arrived in his room with a small sheaf of paperwork in her hand. It was all very well, wanting to do a good job in a new post, but she wouldn’t succeed if she exhausted herself in the first few days.

‘Well?’ he prompted as he held out his hand for the printout of Max’s results, hoping against hope that the figures would give at least some grounds for hope.

There weren’t any.

‘Damn,’ he muttered when he saw the readings that confirmed the fact that Max’s infections were growing worse instead of better. And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. That tiny body just didn’t have any spare resources to battle the invader. It had never been intended to take on such a foe at a time when it should still have been safely inside the shelter of a cosy womb.

‘Josh, you are going to speak to them…to warn them that…?’ He heard her swallow as she allowed the sentence to die away but they both knew how it would have ended. He had to warn the parents that their baby had very little time left. That it could be a matter of hours before the battle was lost.

Before he could speak there was a tentative knock at the door and Letty’s pale face appeared when he called an invitation to enter.

‘James has arrived,’ she said. ‘And Sister told me that Dr Dixon was already in here with you, so…’

‘Come in, please, both of you.’ He gestured towards the group of chairs in front of the window. ‘Would you like a drink? Tea, coffee or…?’

‘N-nothing, thank you,’ Letty stammered, her eyes wide with dread. She was visibly trembling as her husband tried to guide her towards one of the chairs.

Josh couldn’t help but be impressed that, even though she looked as though she would fall over at any moment, she stood her ground and forced herself to stare straight at him.

‘You’re going to tell us that Max is dying, aren’t you?’ she said in accusing tones, the very picture of a lioness defending her cub. ‘You’ve brought us in here to tell us that you’re not going to bother to do anything more to save our little boy…our precious little…’

‘Shh, love. Shh,’ her husband soothed as he wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders and pressed her into the nearest chair. ‘Let the man speak.’

There was something in his eyes as they met Josh’s that let him know that he understood what was coming; that he’d already resigned himself to the fact that he was going to lose the only child he’d ever have.

For just a moment Josh longed to be able to give them something to hope for, but that wouldn’t just be dishonest, it would also be unkind.

He flicked a glance towards Dani and wondered for an instant if she’d really thought through her career choice carefully enough. Of course there was an enormous amount of satisfaction in the work he did, but there was also so much devastation when there was absolutely nothing they could do for their tiny charges. Dani was a gentle, soft-hearted girl. Would it damage something essential inside her if she specialised in a branch of medicine where she had to deal with this sort of scene time after time?

Suddenly, he realised that the expectant silence had been going on for several beats too long while he’d been distracted with thoughts about his newest colleague. With a quick glance down at the papers in his hand to restore his focus, he deliberately stepped forward to lower himself into the chair opposite the Montgomerys and leant forward.

‘Unfortunately, I haven’t got anything good to report,’ he admitted with an all-too-familiar ache in his heart. ‘The latest test results aren’t any better than before. In fact, they’re worse,’ he continued bluntly when Letty would have interrupted. ‘Much worse because, in spite of everything we’ve been pumping into his system, the infection’s gained so much ground that his lung function is almost zero and without oxygen getting into his system…’

‘But he’s got the mask on and that’s connected to the oxygen…’ James Montgomery might think he was holding together well, but he was just as close to the edge as his wife.

‘That’s true, but normally the oxygen is taken up in the lungs to be transferred into the blood and circulated around the body. In Max’s case, even on the highest flow rate, the infection is preventing enough oxygen being taken up. That is pretty bad in itself, but these latest tests show us that the infection has broken through from the lungs into the blood, and has now spread throughout his body. Unfortunately, even when it was confined to his lungs we couldn’t find anything to get rid of it, so we’re very much afraid that it won’t be long before all his organs start to shut down.’

Damn, he cursed silently. He’d had all too much practice at coping with crying patients and their families, but even over the sound of their distress he’d heard Dani gulp as she fought for some semblance of professional control, but to see the glitter of tears in her eyes was enough to choke him.

‘H-how long before…before…?’ James stumbled over the sound of his wife’s heartrending sobs.

‘It’s impossible to say, but…’ Josh shook his head. He’d seen some babies struggle on for days, their lives ebbing slowly away, while others went rapidly downhill, seemingly in minutes. ‘Probably within hours,’ he suggested gently.

‘J—Mr Weatherby,’ Dani corrected herself quickly. ‘Would it be all right if Letty and James hold Max while he’s…?’

‘Of course it would,’ he agreed hastily, silently kicking himself for being so distracted that he hadn’t suggested it. ‘We can detach a lot of tubes and wires so you can cuddle him properly.’

‘And you can talk to him and tell him how much you love him,’ Dani continued as she gently shepherded the two of them out of the room, the glance she threw his way over her shoulder just before she left his room so full of empathy with the couple’s plight that it was almost enough to break his heart.

Four hours later, Max’s fight for life was over.

In spite of his own workload, Josh had been aware that Dani had hovered just outside the isolation room for most of that time, doing whatever she could to make the grim inevitability of the baby’s impending death at least a little more bearable. Tiny hand-and foot-prints had been made of the almost transparent limbs and precious photographs had been taken, for the first time without the ubiquitous evidence of all the technical efforts that had been keeping him alive.

The hospital chaplain had appeared with remarkable speed when the possibility of a christening had been mentioned, and an unbelievably tiny christening gown had appeared, apparently from thin air.

In the end, there had just been two broken-hearted people sitting side by side with an arm around each other and their son cradled between them as his tiny heart finally gave up the unequal struggle. Two people inside the room, Josh noted, but Dani was still keeping vigil outside, with her cheeks every bit as wet as theirs.

And why had he stood just out of sight in his own doorway, stupidly wanting nothing so much as to wrap her in his arms and promise her that she’d never have to cry again?

Stupid, that was the right word to describe him. As if she’d ever accept that sort of comfort from him. After a lifetime of battling against the odds, she’d be more likely to cut him off at the knees. It was useless remembering that one lapse in judgement the night of her birthday and wishing he’d handled the situation differently. It had probably been a minor aberration fuelled by a glass or two of alcohol and she’d doubtless forgotten all about it in the years since. A girl…woman…who looked like Dani, and with her bubbly personality and obvious intelligence, wouldn’t have been short of offers in the intervening years.

And the fact that he wanted to throttle any man who’d ever dared to lay a finger on her was his own stupidity.

Of course, he could always try to fool himself that it was a brother’s typically over-developed need to protect his little sister, but that wouldn’t account for the other feelings that swamped him every time he caught sight of her.

Enough! He cut off his spiralling thoughts fiercely, wondering how on earth he was going to survive the next six months. Now that she’d actually started on his team, it would be impossible to transfer her out of his sight without making some very embarrassing explanations, and…well, apart from seriously blighting her career, it would totally destroy his credibility as the leader of this team, to say nothing of injuring his standing within the medical community.

If it had been nothing more than the obvious age difference between the two of them, that would be bad enough as far as the gossips were concerned, but it wouldn’t be something that would cause him any major problems with his colleagues. No, it was the fact that she was a junior member of his team that could potentially leave him open to accusations of sexual harassment, and while the powers that be were fully aware of the connection between the two of them, if the scandalmongers were to find out that Dani was his sister…

‘You look dreadful,’ he said sharply when her blotchy tear-stained face finally appeared in the doorway to his office. He was becoming more afraid by the hour that this specialty would be too much for her, and his harsh tone was the only way he could cover up the sudden ache around his heart. She’d only been on his team for a matter of days but the busy unit would seem almost empty without the possibility of finding her sunny presence around every corner.

She gasped at his words as if he’d physically struck her, then a familiar mulish expression crossed her face, followed by, ‘Well, excuse me for momentarily giving way to my emotions, Mr Weatherby. Not all of us have had the operation to remove them.’ And the door closed behind her with a pointed, well-controlled click that spoke more than a slam ever would.

‘That went well.’ He sighed harshly and rubbed both hands over his face. ‘The next six months are going to be an absolute nightmare.’ Especially if he was going to have to watch every word around her. ‘So, what’s different about that?’ he grumbled. ‘You’ve been having to watch yourself around her ever since…ever since that kiss she gave you on her eighteenth birthday.’ And that was an image he didn’t need to have inside his head the next time he saw her.