The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts

    [He touches Horace's shoulder; Horace recoils.

Horace

I shall come round in time! [By the table, to Fakrash.] You tell me you've just come out of this bottle?

Fakrash

Dost thou doubt that it is even as I have said?

Horace

Well, I should have thought myself you'd take a bigger size in bottles. But of course, I couldn't doubt you if I saw you get into it again.

Fakrash

That would be the easiest of actions! [He makes a sudden swooping movement, as though to re-enter the bottle, and then thinks better of it.] But I should indeed be a silly-bearded one to do this thing, since thou mightst be tempted to seal me up once more!

Horace

    [Disappointed, and backing against table, half afraid.] Too knowing an old bird to be caught like that, aren't you? But I don't mind! You'll disappear presently.

Fakrash

True, O young man of perfect qualities and good works! But I will not leave thee before I have rewarded thy kindness. For in the sky it is written upon the pages of the air: "He who doeth kind actions shall experience the like!" Therefore – [with a lordly gesture] – demand of me what thou wilt, and thou shalt receive!

Horace

Oh, I shall be awake so soon it's not worth while troubling you.

Fakrash

Dismiss bashfulness from thee. [Advancing towards him.] For by thy hand hath my deliverance been accomplished, and if I were to serve thee for a thousand years, regarding nothing else, even thus could I not requite thee!

Horace

[Retreating in some alarm to window.] Look here. I don't want anything, and – and the best thing you can do is to vanish.

Fakrash

[At back of table.] Not till thou hast told me thy name and the trade that thou followest.

Horace

Oh, you'll go then? [Fakrash assents.] Well, I'll humour you. My name is Horace Ventimore, and I'm an architect. I get my living by building houses, you know. Or rather, I should, if I could only get hold of a client – which I can't.

Fakrash

[Coming down nearer bottle.] Grant thy servant a period of delay, and it may be that I can procure thee a client.

Horace

Good old Arabian Nights again! You'd better not make the delay long – my head will be clear very soon.

Fakrash

Greater rewards by far will I bestow upon thee, most meritorious of men! But now – [going up to right] – I must leave thee for a season.

Horace

I knew I was coming round – you'll be gone directly.

Fakrash

Aye, for I must seek out Suleymán – [salaaming] – on whom be peace! – and obtain pardon from him.

    [He waves his arm, and the door at back flies open.

Horace

[Eagerly.] Yes – I would! You go and do that! Make haste! [The door closes, leaving Fakrash visible through it in an unearthly light.] Good-bye – and good luck!

Fakrash

[Through door.] To thee also! And be assured that I will not be unmindful of thy welfare!

    [The door becomes solid as Fakrash vanishes.

Horace

[Rubbing his eyes.] What a queer dream! [He goes up to the door, opens it, then returns and sits by table.] So vivid! [He sees the brass bottle on the floor.] Open! [Looking inside it.] Empty! H'm, better get it out of the way.

    [He takes the bottle in one hand and the cap in the other, and carries them into the bedroom on right. The moment he has gone there is a rush of wind, and then a heavy thud on the balcony outside, and Mr. Wackerbath, a stout, prosperous-looking, elderly gentleman, in tall hat, frock-coat, white waistcoat, &c., reels through the open window into the room, and sinks into the armchair on left of tablet where he sits puffing and blowing.

Mr. Wackerbath

[Feebly.] Where am I? How did I – ? [He takes off his hat.] Ah, of course! I remember now. [He rises as Horace enters from bedroom.] Mr. – ah – Ventimore, I think? Mr. Horace Ventimore?

Horace

[Slightly surprised.] Yes, that's my name. [Offering chair on right of table.] Won't you sit down?

Mr. Wackerbath

Thank you – I will. [He sits down.] I – I ought to apologise for dropping in on you in this – ah – unceremonious way – but I acted, I may say – ah – on a sudden impulse.

Horace

I'm afraid I haven't much time to spare – but if it's anything of importance —