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The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts
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Год написания книги
2017
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I can't make him out at all, my dear. He seems to be offended with us – and for no reason that I can see.
Sylvia
Nor I.
[They continue the conversation in dumb show, while the Professor, on a chair, is talking to Mrs. Wackerbath on the sofa on the left.
Pringle
[In an undertone to Horace, as they stand by the fireplace on the right.] I suppose you know why I've accepted that fellow's hospitality?
Horace
Not in the least – but I hope you don't mean to abuse it.
Pringle
I mean to show up the lot of you! I'm going to be the skeleton at your feast.
Horace
"An agreeable rattle," eh?
Pringle
It's too sickening! All of 'em grovelling and cringing to you because they're in a blue funk of that old Fakrash! You've managed to get him under control again!
Horace
[With much earnestness.] Now, my dear fellow – I'll explain everything when we're alone. But, for Heaven's sake, take my advice and keep quiet here!
Pringle
[Roughly.] I'm not afraid of you, or your Jinnee either – he rather took to me! And if the Futvoyes choose to drop me like this, I'm not going to take it lying down – I can make them look pretty foolish!
Horace
You'll be the only one to look foolish – upon my honour, you will!
Pringle
We'll see about that! You can't shut my mouth!
Mr. Wackerbath
[The Waiters having gone out, now comes down and addresses Mrs. Futvoye.] They tell me we shall have to wait a few minutes longer – but they'll be as quick as they can.
Mrs. Wackerbath
Oh, Samuel, the Professor has just been telling me about such an extraordinary affair that happened this morning – in his own study! Have you heard?
[Horace starts; Pringle prepares to assume the offensive.
Mr. Wackerbath
Not a word – not a word. What was it, Futvoye? Nothing, I hope, of – ah – an unpleasant nature!
Pringle
[Striking in before the Professor can reply.] "Unpleasant"? Oh, dear no! [Coming forward to centre.] Quite an ordinary occurrence! Ha-ha!
[General surprise.
Mrs. Futvoye
[With annoyance.] I don't know why Mr. Pringle should choose to answer for my husband. [To Mr. Wackerbath.] We considered it most unpleasant. In fact, we can only be thankful it was no worse!
Pringle
But are you thankful? I haven't noticed any signs of it, so far!
Horace
[In his ear.] Shut up, can't you?
Mrs. Futvoye
Really, Mr. Pringle! [To Mr. Wackerbath.] I was about to say – when Mr. Pringle interrupted me – that my husband found, on going into his study after lunch this afternoon, that it was completely wrecked.
Mr. Wackerbath
Wrecked? You don't say so!
Mrs. Futvoye
Everything – bookcases, all his ancient glass and pottery —
Professor Futvoye
A valuable mummy!
Mrs. Futvoye
Absolutely smashed to atoms!
Mr. Wackerbath
Dear me! How unfortunate! [To the Professor.] And have you any clue to the – ah – culprit?
Sylvia
Nor I.
[They continue the conversation in dumb show, while the Professor, on a chair, is talking to Mrs. Wackerbath on the sofa on the left.
Pringle
[In an undertone to Horace, as they stand by the fireplace on the right.] I suppose you know why I've accepted that fellow's hospitality?
Horace
Not in the least – but I hope you don't mean to abuse it.
Pringle
I mean to show up the lot of you! I'm going to be the skeleton at your feast.
Horace
"An agreeable rattle," eh?
Pringle
It's too sickening! All of 'em grovelling and cringing to you because they're in a blue funk of that old Fakrash! You've managed to get him under control again!
Horace
[With much earnestness.] Now, my dear fellow – I'll explain everything when we're alone. But, for Heaven's sake, take my advice and keep quiet here!
Pringle
[Roughly.] I'm not afraid of you, or your Jinnee either – he rather took to me! And if the Futvoyes choose to drop me like this, I'm not going to take it lying down – I can make them look pretty foolish!
Horace
You'll be the only one to look foolish – upon my honour, you will!
Pringle
We'll see about that! You can't shut my mouth!
Mr. Wackerbath
[The Waiters having gone out, now comes down and addresses Mrs. Futvoye.] They tell me we shall have to wait a few minutes longer – but they'll be as quick as they can.
Mrs. Wackerbath
Oh, Samuel, the Professor has just been telling me about such an extraordinary affair that happened this morning – in his own study! Have you heard?
[Horace starts; Pringle prepares to assume the offensive.
Mr. Wackerbath
Not a word – not a word. What was it, Futvoye? Nothing, I hope, of – ah – an unpleasant nature!
Pringle
[Striking in before the Professor can reply.] "Unpleasant"? Oh, dear no! [Coming forward to centre.] Quite an ordinary occurrence! Ha-ha!
[General surprise.
Mrs. Futvoye
[With annoyance.] I don't know why Mr. Pringle should choose to answer for my husband. [To Mr. Wackerbath.] We considered it most unpleasant. In fact, we can only be thankful it was no worse!
Pringle
But are you thankful? I haven't noticed any signs of it, so far!
Horace
[In his ear.] Shut up, can't you?
Mrs. Futvoye
Really, Mr. Pringle! [To Mr. Wackerbath.] I was about to say – when Mr. Pringle interrupted me – that my husband found, on going into his study after lunch this afternoon, that it was completely wrecked.
Mr. Wackerbath
Wrecked? You don't say so!
Mrs. Futvoye
Everything – bookcases, all his ancient glass and pottery —
Professor Futvoye
A valuable mummy!
Mrs. Futvoye
Absolutely smashed to atoms!
Mr. Wackerbath
Dear me! How unfortunate! [To the Professor.] And have you any clue to the – ah – culprit?
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Книга довольно хорошо написана в виде рассказов старого человека молодому парню, основанных на событиях его реальной жизни, охватывающей период с нача...
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